In Your Eyes
by Take Me Back To Gallifrey
Summary: Melina thinks about the terrible way she's hurt Johnny. MelinaJohnny Nitro. Short oneshot.


Disclaimer: I own no one and nothing

Hi there hunnies. For some reason my brain just wont settle to let me do another chapter fic just now so its oneshots only at the moment. This is just a short little one about Melina and Johnny Nitro that was inspired by the song Unfaithful by Rihana.Enjoy hunnies.

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**In Your Eyes**

As I slip quietly out of bed I cant believe that I'm doing this, that I'm leaving you.. I look over at you as you sleep; you look so perfect and innocent. How could I hurt you so much? How could I be so cruel to you? I try to ignore the tears on my face; I don't have any right to cry over this as I pick up some clothes and get dressed.

I feel sick when I realise how normal this feels to me, getting dressed in the dark and slipping away in the middle of the night has become a habit of mine lately. I never thought I'd be doing this to you. I should wake you up and tell you to your face but I cant, I'm too scared to. I can't look in those eyes that made me fall in love with you and tell you what I've done.

I sit down on the edge of the bed; you murmur a little in your sleep but don't wake. My whole body shakes as I let out a sob. I reach my hand out slowly and gently brush your cheek; I still get goosebumps when I touch you. I should be so happy with you, you're wonderful and treat me like a princess but I'm not, I know that's no excuse for what I've done but right now I need to justify it to myself, I need to pretend it was all worth it.

I don't want to hurt you but I know that if I stay that's all that will happen. I love you so much but its not enough anymore, I can't go on kissing you when my head and heart are full of someone else. I hear you say my name sometimes and it breaks my heart because you say it like I'm the centre of the universe.

I gently run my hand over your long blond hair; I never liked guys with long hair until you came along. I can hear you breathing softly, calmly as another tear slips down my face. I wonder what you'll do when you wake up and find me gone, will you look for me? Will you worry? Will you hate me? You should hate me, I hate myself for this.

I want to pretend this isn't happening; I want to snuggle close to you and feel you wrap your arms around me but I can't pretend. I've betrayed you in the worst way anyone ever could. I move my fingertips lightly over your chest and place my hand over your heart; I can feel your heart beating under my fingers.

My heart feels like it's in my throat as I watch you smile in your sleep; you're so beautiful it makes me feel ugly to be near you. I sigh softly as I stand up and throw my clothes into a bag. I find a piece of paper and a pen to write you a note but I don't know what to write. I look over at you again as you turn onto your side and tears sting my eyes. I stare down at the paper in front of me and begin to write.

_Johnny_

_As I write this its 3am and you're sound asleep. I can't sleep; I haven't slept properly in weeks. I'm leaving you this note because I can't bear to say this to your face; I can't bear to see you hate me. I've hurt you so much Johnny and you don't even know._

_I'm leaving you Johnny. I've done the worst thing possible to you, I've cheated on you. It didn't last long, only a few weeks but I can't keep lying to you anymore. I know there's nothing I could ever do or say that will make this better. I love you Johnny and I can't keep looking in your eyes and seeing how much you love me when I don't deserve to be loved like that. I hate myself for doing this to you, to us. I won't blame you if you can't forgive me, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself._

_I'm so sorry Johnny. I love you._

_Melina._

I wipe more tears from my face as I gently place the note on my pillow next to you. I run my fingertips lightly over your face and kiss your forehead softly. I leave my keys on the bedside table before I take one last look at you and walk out of the door, tears spilling silently down my cheeks.

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ok i know its kinda short but i think i've got a case of writers block right now :( plz review anyway hunnies. luv ya all much.


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